mydarlingcurse.com

i have been mired in illness and drama since i’ve been back from ireland. and i’m sorry about that, because a lot has been going on and i have much to say, but sadly no voice - since my throat is still sore.

first things first though - hubbin and i went to see the completely lovely Magnet last night. he only played for about 45 minutes which was only enough to make me excited, but then leave me completly unstatisfied. typical. and he played “my darling curse”. which got me to thinking, i’ve never quite explained my reasons for starting this blog or naming it thus.

i stated this blog during my years (yeah, you read that right, years) of infertility. hubbin and i tried everything under the sun to get pregnant and when that didn’t work, we went to a doctor and then another doctor and went on pills and shots and you name it. it was horrible at the time, but now with my two year old playing at my feet, it seems distant. very much real, but not who i am anymore.

i had just discovered accuradio.com at the time and they had this birtish sadboy station. that is where i first head Magnet. i got two of his albums and when i heard “my darling curse” it felt like it was written for me. lyrics like “all this time, i climb the walls, i never gain an inch at all.” and “my broken heart won’t restart whenever i read what’s in my chart”. that last one brought me to my knees. because there was no apparent reason for our infertility, and one year i had been to the fertility clinic 54 times. we tried six cycles of IUI to no avail. and the first time we did IVF it didn’t work. so the words in this song described my feelings exactly because there were times when i was so frustrated and alone, i couldn’t speak. Magnet and his music did it for me.

and when JCSG and i hooked up and became friends i was really turned on by the idea of a blog. granted, she’s much better at it that i am, but i felt like it was the right thing to do for me, like it was the prefect outlet. not that i cared if anyone read it, it was out there, it was out of me and somewhere valid and that’s all i needed. so mad props to my favorite bitch.

so i named the blog after the song. and there is the origins for mydarlingcurse.com.

seeing Magnet last night was exactly what i expected it would be. a tall handsome man with a guitar singing sad songs and pulling at my heart. after he got everyone up and clapping for “the gospel song” i yelled out “you rock even!” to which he replied “i don’t much feel like a rocker, i’m more of a roller”. i called back “roll on brother!” and the meager crowd cheered. and so went my first and only conversation with Magnet to date. he then went on to play “my darling curse” as if i secretly asked for it.

well, for the first time in my life, i am disappointed in the fact that i went to a Black Crowes show last night. front man chris robinson was in fine form doing his funky best to make my toes curl. but the rest of the band fell flat. they started in around 8:30PM and i thought, excellent, they’ll play til at least 11:00. WRONG. they played for an hour and fifteen then did a one song encore. gak!
i wouldn’t mind if i had paid like….um….i dunno, $17 for the show, but it was $42.50 plus another $35 dollars for all the Ticketbastard bullshit.

we were home before 11!!!!!

worst black crowes show EVER!

i could cry.

after some babysitting confusion and lots of self motivation, hubbin and i went to the fine line last night to catch raul malo and the magnificent three. doors opened at seven, music started a little after eight. and since i’m a crabby pregnant woman, i dropped hubbin off before i parked to stand in line to see if we could get a table or chairs or something. when i joined him in line, i noticed that we were the youngest people there by at least ten years. now, raul malo is a great vocalist, and i don’t think i’m unhip for digging his sound, i mean it’s not lawrence welk for chrissakes!

we filed in with the rest of the geriatric crowd and ended with a table in the back. there was this taste of an old life sitting there, ordering spinach dip and sharing a glass of red wine. we used to do that kind of stuff all the time, fine line, first ave, lee’s, the 400 bar. and it’s not that i miss it, i’d never trade that stuff again for what i have now, no way. but it made me feel like more of a person, not just a mom. and i think that’s valid and important, really important.

hubbin and i aslo figured it had been about three years since we had danced together. that’s too long. so we danced, and that was good.

but now the spell is gone, and i’m back schleping milk and dealing with a bratty little girl who has refused to sleep all week. but here is my mantra:

black crowes next week, black crowes next week, black crowes next week…..

so i’ve been in love with even johanssen’s, aka Magnet, music for years. and i literally squealed with delight when i saw that he is on tour and is coming to minneapolis. hopefully, i can stay healthy and off of bed-rest and actually go.

we haven’t had a lot of luck with concerts lately. we missed ron sexsmith and tonight we are supposed to go raul malo, and all i want to do is sleep. and the black crowes coming up in another week, i hate to put something else on the schedule. however, we did go to duran duran when i was pregnant with boo, and that was great. so who knows?

you know what’s super awesome?
here is a list:

- JCSG opening my eyes to Google Docs and then writing a not-so-bad short story on it

- class with the Vodo this evening……mmm Vodo

- having a great work-out with the cuite pie trainer

- walking the cutie pie trainer out and getting a breath of sweet, sweet september air

- looking down and seeing a package from barnes & noble on my front stoop

- opening said package and finding my new Magnet CD inside

- cracking open a new fabulous CD and feeling like there is enough love in the world

nicked from the lovely SIL

Here is how it works: Copy this list, leave in the bands you’ve seen perform live, delete the ones you haven’t, and add new ones that you have seen until you reach 25. An asterisk means the previous person had it on their list. Two asterisks means the last two people who did this before you had that band on their list.

i didn’t leave in any bands from the SIL….sad - we are opposites when it comes to music.

1. Def Leppard
2. David Bowie
3. U2
4. Prince
5. Limited Warrenty
6. The Honeydogs
7. The Gear Daddies
8. The Black Crowes
9. Bob Mould
10. Tori Amos
11. Duran Duran
12. BR 549
13. Pink Floyd
14. Sinead O’Connor
15. Hootie and the Blowfish
16. Joey Molland & Badfinger
17. Jimmy Page & The Black Crowes - i count this seperate, since they only played Zeplin tunes.
18. Madonna
19. Babel Gilberto
20. Dogstar - Keanu’s band -ugh i hate to even admit it!
21. Ron Sexsmith - on the 29th
22. Raul Malo - on October 2.

that’s all i can think of, i’m sure i’ve been to more loser shows at first ave, but i’m not counting all the bullshit gigs i’ve been too. i’ve blocked a lot of those out.

right - so why have i discovered three CD’s by The Sundays? i am currently loading all of my music onto my laptop - jack. some cd’s get to stay here in the house - others are being laid to rest in a cardboard box awaiting a garage sale they may or may not yet happen. so if you want them, they are yours.

also of note, i called my dad last night (sunday) at around quarter to ten, and annie oakley was over. slootie said she stopped by to visit my dad last weekend and ms. oakley was there then too - with her make-up bag in the spare bathroom. hmmmmm….

the review and podcast are in the works. this is one that i read over spring break. and i thought that i’d share a recent mix tape (although no one makes mix tapes anymore - it’s all playlists - but still, putting certian songs, burning them on to a CD - that’s a mix tape) I made earlier this year.

Rochester
Febraruy 2007

Is Jesus Your Pal? - Gus Gus
Why? - Annie Lennox
The Scientist - Coldplay
What Happens Tomorrow - Duran Duran
Heart’s Desire - Ron Sexsmith
Essence - Lucinda Williams
The Night They Drove Ol’ Dixie Down - The Black Crowes (live)
Look on Down from the Bridge - Mazzy Star

this was in the CD player to and fro as i went down day after day to visit my brother at the mayo clinic. it was a hard thing. he died on february 5, four days after his birthday.

after reading love is a mix tape, i felt the need to share this. putting these songs together was such a deliberate act, these songs, that trip, knowing what the outcome was going to be.

strong and cold….the way i feel or the first two things that popped into my head as i noticed my morning cuppa tea was sitting on the counter unattended?

if anyone remembers the band “groove circus” or their bass player Dig, will you let me know? they were on the minnapolis scene back in 1993.

please help.

i had this fabulous dream last night - if you don’t want to know about it, stop reading here.

when i transfered to hamilne university, my gf gilly and i got an apartment together. the summer before school started i hung-out with this wonderful guy named corey. some of my gf’s refer to him as the piglet, because he was short and got scared very easily.

anyway, one of my sweetest/lovey memories comes from my time with cord - which is what i called him. he was a long hair drummer and while we were always making out, we’d have to take “hair time-out’s”. his hair would come loose or mine would and have to stop and re-do our pony-tails. cord took excellent care of his hair by the way - he was a pantene man. and one night after we were done doing whatever, mr. big’s “i’m the one who want’s to be with you” came on the radio and we had a hand puppet karoke on the walls and ceiling of his room. he had this super-cool clock radio with a night light on it. so our hand shadow’s sang the song to one another and it filled my heart with a special kind of joy - i knew then and there that i would remember that moment for as long as i lived.

and while he never took me out on a date, never met my parents, or came over to my place - i considered him my boyfriend. he’d only call me on thursday’s to see if i was coming over on friday and we’d make-out/have sex - then i’d go home, do my stuff and come back for saturday night; when he and his roomie’s would have a party. and deep down i really loved him.

and last night i blended him with chris robinson of the black crowes and he left his wife/girlfriend for me - he told me he never stopped loving me and that some of the crowes songs were written for me. specifically “nonfiction” -

i don’t know my telephone number,
but you kiss good and i’d like to see you tomorrow….

and i woke up convinced that cord and CR dream about me the same way that i dream about them. that my tat was the right thing to do, that the crowes music speaks to me on a level i can’t put into words, that kate hudson is a dumb bitch for spliting with CR, that my love and friendship can heal him, that cord is out there somewhere and he’s still cool.

and for the life of me, i cannot remember corey’s last name. it’s bugging the shit out of me and i think i will spend the afternoon going through old journals looking for it.