mydarlingcurse.com

Memories of Angels

Post on January 14th, 2010 by Jodie

Today has been an off day. Everyone that I’ve talked to is just surly and grouchy and pissy. And on days like this, nothing cheers up me more than a random Black Crowes song. While driving to and fro today I caught “She Talks to Angels” on satellite radio. This used to be my favorite Crowes tune, but it was replaced last year by “Walk Believer Walk”.

I have a couple of good memories of “She Talks to Angels”. One is, while I was working at the bar Greg the DJ always played it when I asked. It’s a good slow grind song. And one night my boyfriend Tom was in drinking with friends and when the song came on he just pointed to me and pointed to the dance and away I went. Tom was a big guy with a nice smelling chest and strong arms. He knew it was my favorite song and he always held me close while we danced.

Another time, Tom and I were going somewhere, but were driving separately. I was following him and we both had our car radios tuned to the same station. “Angels” came on while we were at a stop light. Tom cranked the volume, got out of his car (a Geo Metro) and pointed at me. I got out of my car and we slow danced on the median. It was summer and the median was full of cigarette butts and weeds. I loved him. People honked. We kissed. The light tuned green. The song played on. And for a moment I felt like I’d be written into history, even if it was only my own.

Category Music, the love i have for you, The Black Crowes | Comments Off

My Darling Curse - origins

Post on November 3rd, 2009 by Jodie

In honor of NaBloPoMo I’m going to give a short version of this blog. What seemed like a million years ago, Hubbin and I were struggling to start a family. And for whatever reason, I just was not getting pregnant. No matter what we did, and we tried every possible thing, it just wasn’t happening. Finally with much soul searching, we decided on getting medical help. We went through six artificial inseminations and two rounds of IVF before we were blessed with our daughter.

At the time I was working for a small HR firm and while I loved my job, I was easily ten years older than any of my co-workers. So being in their early twenties, they had no idea what it was like to have been married for seven years and struggling to have a baby. It was horrible and isolating to say the least. I would hole-up in my office and listen to this British Sad Boy station on AccuRadio.com. The first song that I heard by Even Johanssen aka Magnet was Quiet and Still. This however started a musical love affair that has gone on ever since. Seriously I think there is only one song of his that I don’t like. When I heard My Darling Curse I broke down crying. It spoke so much to the pain and frustration I was feeling. I felt immersed in this quagmire of medical offices and fertility drugs and timing and appointments and accupunture. It was insane. We had gotten so many negative pregnancy results that it just seemed pointless. I can honestly say that I’ve never been more determined or depressed. I felt betrayed by my body and my higher power. We had so much to offer, why not us?

So when I heard the line “My broken heart won’t restart, whatever I read in my chart” I took it in the medical sense. Since there was no medical reason why I wasn’t getting pregnant. It was then I realized that someday I’m going to get what I want. I will have a child and be a parent, but that doesn’t come without extreme responsibility. So it was double edge sword. Anyone with kids will tell you what utter joy they are, how lovely they are. But they will also tell you how incredibly insane the whole thing is. How vulnerable and frustrating parenting is.

Naturally, I don’t feel that parenting is a curse. My children are not curses to me. But at the time I felt cursed. Cursed by wanting something so pure, so loving, and being denied for no reason. The blog started in the nature of infertility, and has since grown. It’s name is my homage to a great musical artist that I love dearly. It’s my emotional wastebasket and a place to nerd out on books and Keith Olbermann and Adrien Brody. Okay, so maybe not a short version, but now you know.

My Darling Curse
by Magnet
from the album On Your Side

Waiting here, I’ll prepare, and try my best not to be scared
There’s no need to insist, cause I’m too dumb to even resist anymore,
And anyhow, anywhere you go I will go with you

My darling curse, it’s you and me versus the world
If I don’t lose my nerve, then we’ll get what we deserve

All this time I’ve climbed the walls I’ve never gained an inch at all
My broken heart won’t restart, whatever I read in my chart
Take your time, but don’t be too late,
Cause my last flare is already in the air

My darling curse, it’s you and me versus the world
If I don’t lose my nerve, then we’ll both get what we both deserve

Might be each other
Could be each other

Category Music, NaBloPoMo, Magnet | No Comments »

Iowa weekend: a list

Post on October 19th, 2009 by Jodie

- Packing for the trip was not as bad as I thought.
- Nice drive down - fall colors…ahhh.
- Cold white wine upon arrival.
- Hubbin sleeping in on his birthday.
- Getting manicures and pedicures with my cousin and daughter.
- Having my nails painted black and having halloween designs airbrushed on, toes too!
- Birthday dinner with family.
- Chocolate cake with family.
- Seeing Pezzettino in B-Sides‘ living room.
- Talking with Pezzettino afterwards (I wanted to put her in my pocket and take her home).
- Hugging B-sides, his pretty wife, and awesome daughter. I’ve missed them and didn’t realize how much until I saw them again.
- Hubbin having a good birthday.
- Boo making me a necklace with Aunt Iowa.
- Drive back, fall colors again and Viking game.
- Home, pizza and baths and early bed.

Category Music, fam damnly, momdom, lists | Comments Off

Another reason to love Graham Nash…

Post on October 4th, 2009 by Jodie

I’ve been fond of Graham Nash for awhile. It was a pleasant surprise to come across this on Twitter. Thanks to Mr. Larroquette.

Category Music, Things I find on Twitter | No Comments »

That skinny scarecrow does it to me everytime!

Post on September 1st, 2009 by Jodie

Celebrating September with The Black Crowes’ new album Before The Frost…Until The Freeze - On sale at Amazon MP3: for $3.99 (all 20 soulful tracks).

Category Music, The Black Crowes | Comments Off

Rock Angel

Post on March 25th, 2009 by Jodie

I think I’ve mentioned more than once that my big brother Randy was a huge Badfinger fan. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Joey Molland several times. The last time I saw Joey and his wife Kathie was actually at Randy’s funeral. Joey was kind enough to say a few words. I don’t brag about having a rock legend speak at my brother’s funeral, but it was really cool. Joey is just really sweet guy.

I learned today that Kathie Molland died Tuesday night in her sleep. I had only met Kathie a handful of times, but every time our paths crossed she cracked me with some ubergroupie rock story; “You know, I really really really loved Jimmy Page. I did. If only he’d have kept the fourteen year old girls off his lap, I think we could have had something.” Only a true groupie tells stories like that. I thought she was simply amazing.

My heart goes out to Joey, to their family. I hope I can send him something. I feel like I owe him.

Category Music, the love i have for you | 1 Comment »

The Soundtrack of My Life - as seen on Facebook

Post on January 17th, 2009 by Jodie

So I got tagged in a Note on FB and it’s a pretty good exercise. So here it is:

Early Influences
“You Are My Sunshine” - This is the first song I remember knowing and loving and singing. My Mom sang it to me constantly. I’m the same way with my little ones.

“Surrender” Cheap Trick - My late brother Randy and his band Brixx sang this at my 8th grade graduation party (in the garage). After seeing him perform, I understood more of who he was and musically, what he was about.

“Baby Blue” - Badfinger - Another one of Randy’s influences. I remembering singing in his room.

“Crocodile Rock” Elton John - Kindergarden, 45 rpm, BFF Jenny Chesner and I roller skating in her basement, twirling batons. Over and over and over and over. Her Mom hated it! It was great!

“It’s a Hard Knock Life” - Annie Soundtrack - I wasn’t one of the girls singing “Tomorrow”. Nope I took risks.

“Beast of Burden” - The Rolling Stones - The first Stones song I remember memorizing. I still use it in my Karaoke rotations. Ask Jodi about it.

“Crazy for You” - Madonna - I called KDWB or WLOL and asked them to play it and dedicate it to my 6th grade science teacher. Can’t remember his name, but EVERYONE heard it. All future teacher crushes owe him big time!

“The Reflex” - Duran Duran - A child of the 80’s + best grown-up glam boy band ever! I’m not apologizing for this one, not now, not ever! Simon Le Bon has one of the best voices in music. End of story.

“Sweet Thing” - The Waterboys - I’m not embarrassed to say that I heard this version from Jen before I heard the original. It just reminds me of the Sunday morning glow we had as girls after a Saturday night making out with a boy.

“Kiss Off” - Violent Femmes - The High School Anthem. I hope you know that this will go down on your permanent record! Oh yeah?

Honorable Mention “Last Christmas” - Wham! - Any time this comes on I know that I can call one of two girls, sing a lyric and they are right there with me, singing along without missing a beat. Cheesy yes, cheesy but without judgement.

Later in Life
“Jerusalem” - Sinead O’Connor - The entire album (The Lion and The Cobra) is the soundtrack to my relationship with the Chicago Cowboy. This one has special resonance though.

“Express Yourself” - Madonna - yeah, yeah, I know I mentioned her already. But when she’s speaking directly to me (and every gay boy I know) how can a girl not listen? It was the song I got ready to for years!

“Cecilia” - Simon and Garfunkel - This song seemed to close down every party until 1993. I start to look for my coat and calculate where the nearest Perkin’s is when I hear it. Old habits die hard I guess. Honorable Mention in this category “Desperado” The Eagles.

“Electric Boogie (The Electric Slide Song) - Marcia Griffiths - It’s a law that if you get married and you have a DJ at your wedding they HAVE to play this song and you HAVE to do the dance. And I do it. Every single time. Because it’s fun. And it’s the law.

“To Be With You” - Mr. Big - Marathon make-outs with a boy we called “The Piglet” (cuz he was short and cute, not a slob). One night this song came on and we lip-synced to it - with hand shadow puppets. It was adorable.

“New Mistake” - Jellyfish - I wish I could go back in time and tell that silly girl about her future husband’s bromance with Jason Faulkner.

“Imagine” - John Lennon - We walked down the aisle to this one. ‘Nuff said.

“These Days” - Ron Sexsmith - My husband turned me on to Sexsmith and this song. It sounds like a happy pop song, but then when you listen to Sexsmiths warble he sucker punches you for liking it.

“Everything I’ve Got” - Blossom Dearie - A nerdy jazz gal from the 50’s. This song is the ultimate “piss off”, but without being crass.

“My Darling Curse” - Magnet - It’s strange how one line in a song can break you down into nothing and build you up as well. This was at the height of our infertility woes. And it said so much about getting exactly what you wish for. It still breaks my heart, but in the best possible way.

“Mysterious Ways” - U2 - In the movie of my life, this is my theme music. When I make my first appearance on scene and I’m walking in slow motion looking fine - this is the song you hear.

“Walk Believer Walk” - The Black Crowes - Those of you who know me well know how much I love the Crowes. There are many songs that I love. But this one, this is exactly why I come crawling to the Crowes again and again. It’s Blues, it’s Rock, it’s dirty, it’s holy, it’s daring, it’s Soul. It’s a grinding groove that basically scolds you for not being better, but takes you as you are. Robinson and the band are at their basics here. His voice reminds me of a snake-handling preacher that I will follow anywhere.

Honorable Mentions

“The Case Continues” - Ute Lemper - Strong vocals, great story, killer music. Lemper is a rare find if you like modern cabaret style singing. Plus she’s a knock-out!

“Every LIttle Thing About You” - Raul Malo - I first heard Raul Malo on KAXE up north. (I *heart* KAXE) This song makes you want to take Tango lessons. We’ve had the pleasure of seeing Mr. Malo live at The Fine Line. He’s a great live artist and did a cover of Roy Orbison’s “Crying” and it brought me to my knees. Just another example of how I follow the great vocals.

“Essence” - Lucinda Williams - A song about the one you shouldn’t love. The one you can’t stay away from. The one that hurts you over and over, and yet you keep coming back because you’re stupid and addicted. Gritty and raw, just like your nerves around this guy. Only one name comes to mind.

“I’m Not Gonna Call You” - The Films - I wish I had this song in my twenties. A rock-a-billy version of “He’s just not that into you”. This song is what your best friend tells you about that asshole you keep going home with; He’s a jerk, He’s a bum, He doesn’t love you, He doesn’t have a car!

“Ah Leah” - Donnie Iris - We’ve all heard this song, and we all know it’s awesome. Bubble-gum-rollerskate-pop with an awesome hook. Call KQ and request it.

“Wild Horses” - The Flying Burrito Brothers - The Bro’s recorded this before the Stones (look it up). I can’t say enough good things about Gram Parsons. He shaped rock, blues, and country. This stripped down country version brings more resonance to the song than the Stones ever could.

“Is Jesus Your Pal?” - Gus Gus - Yeah, it has whale sounds, but it’s also a bone-breaking, soul-destroying technoballad that makes me sob. This was on my Rochester mix. My brother was at the Mayo Clinic for three weeks before he died. I went down as much as I could. This song+snow covered corn fields+twilight+knowing the end is near=peace.

“Candy” - Iggy Pop with Kate Pierson - All my life you’re haunting me, I love you so.

Category Music, dorkdom | No Comments »

thursday morning….

Post on August 7th, 2008 by Jodie

it looks a bit like a war zone here in st. louis park. now that the storm has past and we’ve all had our insurance adjusters out, after all the bids and estimates, the four houses surrounding me have all started construction….today!

next door it’s a bunch of white guys who show up when they want, barely work and leave before 3, a door down a hispanic looking crew is ripping a roof off like a 10 year old boy getting a Wii on christmas morn. across the street the young college hotties have KQ cranked and were rocking out to Midnight Rider by the Allman Bros. before 8AM and now an Emo Phillips interview is blaring down my street making me jumpy. across and down two doors some old guys are pouring cement and smoking, they look like leather scarecrows, with tattoos.

i can’t tell the difference between the buzz saws and the cicadas. the garbage trucks lumber through squeaking their brakes and hissing playing their own music.

it’s warm, sunny and breezy. the buns is fresh, clean and well fed. i’m off for breakfast with the alaskan poet.

and even though i haven’t left the house yet, it’s been a great day.

Category Music, just the day | No Comments »

wanna trade?

Post on July 23rd, 2008 by Jodie

The Importance of Music to Girls
by Lavinia Greenlaw

yes, the bitches did a podcast of this, but for whatever reason it’s not available yet. JCSG and i are doing the 12 hot, fresh episodes, we’re just not able to post them on time. what do you expect from a bookclub bitch huh? it’s the middle of summer and there is SO much going on….blah blah blah. one of these days JCSG will listen to me when i tell her we need to take July off. maybe next year.

so, for now you get my written review. trust me, it’ll be short. i didn’t even finish the book. it’s not that the book is bad, it’s not. it’s very well written, just not well written about anything significant. there is no sense of “musical” importance here because greenlaw keeps her readers and herself an arms length away. no thanks. if you aren’t pulling me out of the bag, throwing me in the toaster getting me all warm and yummy then slathering butter on me, forget it. greenlaw puts me in the back of the bread drawer waiting for me to butter myself. i’d rather get moldy and be fed to the ducks.

there are some wonderful, very flowery passages in the first sixty pages that i read. nothing of importance though. in a way, i’m very disappointed that i actually spent money on this book. i really wanted something special, something that i could relate to. greenlaw grew up in London in the 70’s and 80’s. now if that isn’t a fucking goldmine of musical importance, i don’t know what is! but it never penetrates her. it simply happens to her and she then describes what it was like bouncing around in the echoes. i would wait for hours, HOURS, sitting by my radio, finger cramping on the record button, for one song. because i loved it, because as a tween it said something more than what i could say for myself, it stirred my imagination and made me wish. the first few screams from “I Want You to Want Me” live at the Buddakan to this day give me goosebumps. greenlaw would describe the wallpaper.

a few things that really bothered me, and my apologies if i’ve mentioned this in the podcast. first of all, this book was billed as a memoir. now, i’m not of the school that memoir is fact. memoir is memory and that isn’t always reliable. but memoir is an account of someone’s life, of an event in someone’s life. and that should be true, the details surrounding the event, those can be soft and open to interpretation - since not everyone remembers the same event in the same way. but something has to happen and nothing happens to greenlaw. the music never happens. secondly, the reviews were great for this book and that just makes me mad. good writing doesn’t always mean good storytelling and vice versa. while greenlaw is a good writer, you need to be both. and if this shyte is getting published and lauded, well fuck! let’s all get up off our asses and write a novel, our chances look good.

in a way though, i’m really proud of myself for not finishing this book, for simply closing it and putting it down. i saved myself a lot of time and anger doing that and that makes me feel good. i don’t even want to mooch this book, i seriously want something for it. that’s how strongly i feel let down. even if it’s something stupid - an expired coupon maybe, or a can of RC Cola - having something else to replace the book would mean more to me than the book itself. so i could say, here is the can of RC that i got for a shitty shitty book, i like the can better.

Category Music, books, bitch! | No Comments »

the love continues

Post on July 17th, 2008 by Jodie

i love VH1’s Rock of Love, loved it! loved the second season too, but now…bringing it to the bus? well that my darlings makes me so giddy that i might explode.

when i saw on JCSG’s site that Bret and Ambre broke up, i wasn’t shocked. i knew some little weasel in the creative department over at VH1 wasn’t going to leave Bret Michaels alone until every speck of gold dust was mined from his comeback.

but taking it on the bus - that’s just brilliant. and i’ll admit loudly and proudly that i’m bummed i can’t audition.

Category Music, the revolution will not be televised, dorkdom | No Comments »

mydarlingcurse.com

Archive for the ‘Music’

Memories of Angels

My Darling Curse - origins

Iowa weekend: a list

Another reason to love Graham Nash…

That skinny scarecrow does it to me everytime!

Rock Angel

The Soundtrack of My Life - as seen on Facebook

thursday morning….

wanna trade?

the love continues

Greetings My Darlings

Tweety Pie

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