Poor Milo
I’ve tried several times since Saturday to put up a post, to no avail. We went to the Homeward Bound adoption. I was totally OK with not getting a dog, but we got a dog. We named him Milo. He’s a mutt. It’s fantastic, not wait….that’s not entirely true.
Whereas Cooper was a man, Milo is a dude. He totally looks like his favorite outfit is a bandana. He’s sweet and mellow and a completely different dog that what we are used to. The Buns thinks he’s hysterical and Boo is still dealing with the loss, but she’s digging Milo.
I however, am feeling guilty. Now that he’s here, I know I’m not ready. I could have gone months without another dog. Especially one that needs a little house-training and a hard lesson in obedience. And since I’m the one that’s home most of the time, it’s mainly my problem.
Maybe it’s the weather or maybe I’m just not ready for such a change, but I feel like there is so little of me left to give, do I really want to spend the remainder on this dog. I realize that in six weeks, he’ll be a different dog. But right now, it’s a lot of reassurance and attention (he was obviously neglected), with nothing in return. And I don’t have high expectations for this dog, trust me. But it’s a huge pain in the ass to get the routine down with the kids and school and naps and eating and now I have to deal with a dog. A dog that likes to pee in the house and jump up on the kitchen counter. It’s hard enough teaching some manners to a three year old and a ten month old, but now the dog too? And I know it’s temporary. His behavior will get better. But right now, it’s just too much for me.
And he’s really sweet. He’s a cuddle-bug and he’s mellow. He tolerated the kids and kennels up. But I hate putting him in the kennel to change a diaper, but I can’t trust him. Changing a diaper isn’t changing a diaper anymore. Changing a diaper is now kenneling the dog, feeling guilty about it, moving the gate (since he’s not allowed upstairs - the scene of all his accidents), changing a diaper, telling the dog to quit whining, putting the baby down, putting the gate back up and letting the dog out.
When Hubbin came home the other day I told him we have to take the dog back. It was too much. I felt terrible about that. And I feel terrible now. And get this, Milo totally knows. He totally knows I’m not ready for him. He gets that the baby is my priority, mine to take care of because I’m the alpha. But as a human-dog bond, it just aint there. Hubbin asked me if I was serious about taking him back. The answer is yes, but I’m not the type of person who would rescue a dog and then bring it back for no good reason. if he bit the baby, problem solved (God forbid). But me not being ready doesn’t seem like a good enough reason. And that is a whole other set of problems.
