mydarlingcurse.com

Being a Jodie

Post on December 3rd, 2009 by Jodie

From UrbanDictionary.com

1. Jodie
The man who steals a soldier’s woman while he is overseas. The man who is with another man’s woman while he is in prison, at work, etc….
Look at him running home so fast, he must be worried about Jodie .
Don’t worry man, Jodie’s taking good care of her.

2. Jodie
Amazing Girl Who Is Great In Bed And The Damn Sexiest Of The Sexy Baby!!!!
Aims To Please And Always Fulfills
Complete Class And Beauty

Wow look at that girl, she’s definatley a Jodie!

3. Jodie
A sexual position known for its intense orgasm and high rate of death by explosion in the female of the species.

Dave: ”I had sex last night with my bitch, and had a Jodie!”
Colin: ”Dude! what did your wife think about that!?”
Dave: ”Literally mind blowin!”

4. Jodie
To seem like your paying attention but actually daydreaming.

God! Your not listening to me your such a Jodie!

5. jodie
an asian pornstar who is in love with a lemon tri.
hey whos that erotic asian chick over there?
oh that must be jodie!

6. Jodie
Abbreviation for: joy to the world for leane meat
When you think you’re cool, but you’re clearly not.
Often found reproducing with family members

“I am sooo cool,”
“mate you’re just doing a jodie”
“ergh mate thats wrong, you’re doing a jodie,”

7. Jodie
someone who is really annoying, and is immature and doesnt know what a handjob is.

hey Jodie!, whats a handjob?
i dunno im only a jodie!

Category MDC | Comments Off

For she only had eyes for a wild unkept squiggle…

Post on September 8th, 2009 by Jodie

Category MDC | No Comments »

Nicely Nicely

Post on June 18th, 2009 by Jodie

Everyone that I have talked to on the phone today has called me twice. So, seriously seriously, I’ve been on the phone with people, just bullshit stuff really, but then when I hang up, 20 minutes later, they call back.

It’s taken up my entire day so far, so far.

Category MDC | No Comments »

The ambulance ride (part 2)

Post on February 27th, 2009 by Jodie

Once I was in the ambulance and strapped down that’s when I decided to find the humor in the situation. Seeing Cedar Rapids backwards is quite an experience. I was saying things like “I never want to see Hardee’s from this view again. Fuck Cedar Rapids. I’m never coming back down here agian.” The EMT, a great burly bald biker dude named Derek, was cracking up. And said, “You don’t seem like you’re having heart trouble.” “That’s because I’m NOT HAVING A FUCKING HEART ATTACK! YOU PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK!”
Then he’d chuckle and say, “Geez, your BP (blood pressure) totally spiked there, you were like 398 over 172.”
“Isn’t that clinically impossible?”
“Yeah, basically if it were that high you *would* be having a heart attack.”
“Goddammit!”

All kidding aside, it was Derek who really listened to me when I told him my symptoms and family history. He asked about my pain and then said, “Well, I could give you some morphine, but if it is your heart….”
“It’s not my fucking heart!”
“Did they give you Nitro?”
“Yes, and it didn’t do anything.”
“Do you have a headache from it?”
“No, not at all.”
“Yeah, it’s not your heart.”
“Thank you!”

Then we just started chatting. To get my BP down - since it was pretty high, being all pissed off and in an ambulance and all. What books we were reading, and then for some reason he started talking about the floods. I had heard that things were bad. Aunt Iowa and the kids were sandbagging for a few days, and both of the their employers closed down for a few days. But I hadn’t talked to anyone who was in the shit. Earlier that day, I drove through where some of the worst damage was. It was a ghost town. There were still piles of debris on curbs and in yards. Home boarded up or just abandoned. But it’s easy to let those images slip away, but when Derek started talking about it, it was just about the saddest thing I’d ever heard.

Derek said that it was basically the worst day of his life. People would call and they wouldn’t be able to get to them. Or people would call and say they were having chest pains and Derek would look around and their house and everything they own would be gone. Floods rarely happen in the nice parts of town, you know? He said that about 25% of the city’s population was just gone. People lost their jobs and their homes, or their business and their home and just vanished. There isn’t any record of them. They aren’t missing, they are just gone. It’s always haunting when you see a big tough guy clear his throat when he’s talking about something really painful. I told him I thought this was the best ambulance ride I’ve ever had and it was all because of him. That made him laugh.

Derek wheeled me into the Emergency Room and updated the nurses and stuff, then he took my hand and told me I’d be okay and I said Thanks, take care. And that was it, he was gone. The nurse that I had in the ER was a goofy looking guy named Ben who was actually part of the airlift crew, so he was wearing a pilot’s uniform. Then there was HotDoc, but he was a little too hyper for my tastes. They all told me the same thing. They need to rule out my heart and lungs. So again with the EKG and then I went somewhere (wheeled in a bed on oxygen) for X-rays. The pain never really went away. When they wheeled me back and Ben asked how I was doing, I just said, it hurts. Ben, glorious Ben and his magic morphine needle. Aaahhhh!
EKG and chest X-Ray normal, natch. Now up to ultrasound. Aunt Iowa and I were like, finally!

Let me tell you something, those stones lit up that sonogram like diamonds. It was like my gall bladder was completely full. Aunt Iowa was like, yep there they are. And I said, wait a minute now, that could be cancer, hahaha. And the Tech Chick doing the ultrasound kinda smiled. And I said, she can’t tell us what she sees, she has to wait for the Radiologist. The Tech Chick smiled and said, yeah that’s right, but (whispering) they’re exactly what you think they are. Meaning stones, not cancer.

So doped up and glad that it wasn’t really serious, I was wheeled back to the ER. That’s when I saw the Superman stickers. I pointed and said, grab a shitload of those Superman stickers for me, my BFF back home loves him! Then I saw the Dora stickers. Dora, OMG, my daughter loves Dora, grab a buncha them too, puhleeeeeeease. I’m hilarious on morphine! Back to my ER room to wait in morphine bliss.

Tick tock tick tock tick tock

HotDoc pokes his head in and says, yep it’s your gall bladder! But here’s the thing, you also have a blockage - a stone - blocking your common bile duct. So we need to remove that, that’s what’s causing all the pain. So we’ll remove the blockage first and then take your gall bladder out. Ok great, says I, when can we schedule that? Then I made a move to get up. Oh, no. You aren’t going anywhere. We’re getting a room for your upstairs and we’ll remove the blockage in the morning. Can’t I go home? No, you’re stuck here so we can control the pain and if another stone migrates, it’s just better if you are here.

And again, I panicked. I kissed Boo goodbye five hours ago, told her I’d be back in a bit. And I wasn’t coming back. I begged HotDoc to let me go home, I’d be back first thing in the morning. I was from out of town and just visiting and my daughter…. Nothing doin’. I was being admitted, right then and there. The admitting nurse came in a few minutes later. Aunt Iowa did a great job of telling me that Boo doesn’t understand abandonment, she was having a great time eating junk and playing Wii. And Hubbin and The Buns and Milo were all back in Minneapolis. I didn’t want to have surgery without him there. Logistically, it was a nightmare. And Aunt Iowa was a champ, because I was beginning to break down.

Then, a big bald head pops in. Derek, the EMT, off his shift back to check on me. “Whaddya still doing here?” he boomed. I gave him the lowdown and he sat next to me for a few minutes, telling me it was a piece of cake surgery, I’d be fine. Then, and I still can’t believe it, he said, I’m sorry I didn’t give you any morphine in the truck, I really could have helped and I didn’t. He’d done so much to make my first and hopefully only ambulance ride completely memorable and unhorrible. And here he was kicking himself that he hadn’t given me morphine. Such a great guy.

Category MDC | 1 Comment »

two words….no stitches

Post on September 24th, 2008 by Jodie

while packing up the aforementioned Stripey, boo cut herself something fierce which prompted a trip to Urgent Care. i was taping up the bottom of the box with one of those industrial tape dispensers. after taping, i simply set it down on the floor where boo and i were working on getting to box together, she was drawing pictures on it. when i got up to get a pen and card out of my purse i hear her whine a little bit, i ask what’s wrong, turn around and see blood gushing from her hand.

this is where she started to freak out a little bit.

i grabbed her hand and walked her to the bathroom to put it under running water. this looked like a scene from a horror movie. i mean, is there is a certain look to blood swirling with water. the water keeps running, the blood keeps gushing, you think of that scene in Poltergeist with the guy pulling his face off and the chunks fall into the sink. ok, it wasn’t that bad, but still this is my daughter we are talking about!

to say that boo was brave is an understatement. once i turned the water off and got some tissue to put pressure on the gash she had dripped more blood into the sink. but she was starting to calm down. we went back to sit in the living room for a bit with me applying pressure holding her hand above her head. by the time hubbin got downstairs (he was in the shower the whole time), it was still bleeding pretty badly. he tried to tape it up, but she bled right through so i made the decision to take her to Urgent Care.

now, i’m not one of these mom’s that takes their kid in for every little thing. but gashes that don’t stop bleeding after ten or fifteen minutes need to be looked at. thankfully, the urgent care TV was tuned to SpongeBob and boo was content to just sit on my lap, snuggling and looking pitiful. to my amazement, buns was the one to really cheer her up. he was blowing raspberries (his new six-month-old trick) and she found this really funny.

the nurse ended up putting some kind of surgical strips over the wound. three strips because she’s three years old, she got three stickers and now mom needs three glasses of wine. she was pretty tuckered out though when it was all said and done. she had huge circles under her eyes (massive blood loss?) and fell asleep before we finished one book.

i feel like an idiot. it’s basically my fault she got hurt. but i’m really glad i didn’t second guess myself for taking her to Urgent Care. the doctor said even though boo didn’t need stitches, we got really lucky. i know he’s right, but i’m still freaked out.

Category MDC | No Comments »

school days…pt. 2

Post on August 15th, 2008 by Jodie

poop! it didn’t come.

Category MDC | No Comments »

the alaskan poet…wokka wokka wokka

Post on August 1st, 2008 by Jodie

Category MDC | No Comments »

happy 4th

Post on July 4th, 2008 by Jodie

yeah, i’m not a big celebrator of the 4th of july. it’s probably my least favorite holiday. maybe because it’s mandatory. and i’m all about breaking the rules. it’s just loud and hot and not in a good adrien brody kind of way.

Category MDC | 1 Comment »

the good neighbour (?)

Post on June 12th, 2008 by Jodie

tuesday afternoon i pulled a three year old out of the middle of the street during rush hour. she lives across the road from us and most likely has fetal-alcohol syndrome. her mother was inside the house, doors shut tight. i brought the little toe-headed darling home with a heavy heart. she was more than three houses down from her own house. the family car stood in their driveway - a mini-van with driver’s side door and drivers passenger sliding door open.

“I’m glad you brought her back”, the bad mother said with all the emotion of receiving a stale potato.

“I’m glad she didn’t get hit by a car!” i practically shrieked.

then the bad mother then made some comment about how she’s not going to let the little one “play in the car again” since obviously she can “get out of her straps” whatever that means. i walked home quickly needing a drink.

i have yet to completely shake this incident off. i have a three year old. and i’d be mortifiedembarassedbesidemyselfintears if someone brought her home and told me she had been in the middle of the street halfway down the block. i’d kiss the ground her returner walked on! thank you thank you thank you for bringing my darling back. i didn’t get that from the bad mother AT ALL! which is chilling.

the truly frightening part is, is that this type of thing has happened at least once before. but that time the seven year old “older sister” chased after the three year old in the street and pulled her down. other neighbours who saw this incident said the three year old hit her head after being pulled by her big sister, then the bad dad came out and yelled at the three year old.

so after much deliberation, i called Child Protection and got some advice on what to do, not if but when, something like this happens again.

then yesterday i noticed the bad mother coming home, i’m watching her like a hawk now, and she got out and the seven year old got out and they both went into the house. i thought that the little three year old was at a sitters or with a sitter, but no. after over a full minute bad mom came about out of the house, pulled the three year old from the car and then they both went in.

when did it become ok to leave kids unattended in a car? i don’t even let my daughter play around the car when i’m standing right there. and it’s not like bad mom was schlepping in bags or something, she just left her out there.

my mom used to tell me that she wanted to wrap me up in cotton and keep me in her pocket, that way she knew i’d be safe. i thought this completely ridiculous. i kinda get it now.

i think i’m in for a long summer though with this fucking housewiferey, this stay-at-home-mom business. but now that i’ve incidentally saved the three year old, i feel protective of her. and i pray, utterly, that she is safe.

Category MDC, medication needed, momdom | No Comments »

wherein a norwegian cowboy makes me glad for ticketbastard

Post on June 10th, 2008 by Jodie

unfortunately, i had to get the crowes tickets through ticketbastard. the good thing about their $9.88 “handling fee” is that i got two songs from iTunes. lame that i’m excited about that, but still…

so i’m shopping around iTunes and i find some Magnet stuff that i had not heard and some live stuff that makes me tingle.

not sure how i feel about the “Zippity Do Dah” rift in the middle of my darling “My Darling Curse”, but at this point i will forgive my darling norse cowboy anything.

Category Music, MDC, dorkdom | No Comments »

mydarlingcurse.com

Archive for the ‘MDC’

Being a Jodie

For she only had eyes for a wild unkept squiggle…

Nicely Nicely

The ambulance ride (part 2)

two words….no stitches

school days…pt. 2

the alaskan poet…wokka wokka wokka

happy 4th

the good neighbour (?)

wherein a norwegian cowboy makes me glad for ticketbastard

Greetings My Darlings

Tweety Pie

Sites I Like

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

Archives

Meta

Categories