mydarlingcurse.com

today is/was my mom’s birthday. she’d have been 65. happy birthday mom, i love you. i miss you.

yesterday at around 6:45 PM i decided that i was going to turn off my computer for 24 hours. i couldn’t do it. it’s sad, but true. i’m going to try it again, starting now.

also, in the “i’ve never done that before” category, i downloaded a ring tone for my phone today. i think ring tones say a lot about a person, so i downloaded “Remedy” by The Black Crowes.

in the “duh” category - and this is verbatim:

psycho jen: why are the flags at half-mast today?
me: it’s septmeber 11.
psycho jen: oh yeah, duh!
me: duh!

i’ve seen examples, back in the day, of parents letting their children drink a little gin before bed time, or putting whiskey on a theething child’s gums. i’ve also read of people being strapped into their beds as children, not harshly, just to prevent them from getting up or sleepwalking.

after the 45 minutes of sleep i got last night, these all sound like pretty good ideas. at least hubbin was sharing in my misery. we’ve never been a couple of “it’s your turn”, since i am a stay-at-home mom, it’s always my turn. but last night he did his share and after the kids were up he let me crash for an hour. i woke up groggy in a huge pile of drool - sleep of the junkie i call it.

thankfully, both kids are happy today, not fussy and playing well with each other. i on the other hand am seriously considering putting them on the doorstep for the gypsy’s to take away. just for a little more shut-eye.

i am looking forward to establishing a routine this week. boo’s school schedule was somewhat truncated last week, but things are full-blown this week and i can’t wait to get things settled down. the buns has to get back on schedule too. he used to sleep through the night and now he wakes up sometime between 2-4 AM.

this kills me because i’m low functioning insomniac. once i get up during these hours, it’s well after 5:00 AM before i am asleep again. but you’re a stay-at-home, can’t you sleep during the day when your baby sleeps. the answer is yes, duh. but i don’t like to spend my time that way. when the buns is sleeping, i’d rather be doing stuff, packing up clothes or looking up Keith Olbermann on the internet. fun stuff.

i read last night that you have to love the moment you are in. even if it sucks, love it. don’t love it for being craptastic though, find something nice to love. so here it goes: this morning the buns spit up on me. on my pant leg. and i haven’t changed pants because the spit up smell is canceling out the cigarette smell that seems to be lodged in my nasal cavity. for this i am grateful. i’d rather smell cute baby boy spit up than smoky cigarettes.

even though the calendar says that summer isn’t over until the equinox sometime between september 21-22, we all know it ends on labor day.

i keep thinking i didn’t do anything this summer. and that’s true, except for the fact that i gave birth in late spring, and nursed through june. so while that is a major accomplishment, it kept me tethered to my children. not that i am complaining.

in “that’s so awesome” news….went to see The Black Crowes at the MN State Fair saturday night. we had tickets on the mezzanine level and three or four songs in, due to my awesome chair dancing skills, some uberchick comes up and says, “We knew we couldn’t stay late, and you look like you’re having such a great time….have our tickets. They are 16th row, center stage.” SHA! so hubbin drags me, giggling and screaming “that’s so awesome”, down to 16th row center. cannabis and corn dogs - can’t beat it.

today we are home - a family day. boo starts school tomorrow, even though it’s only a few hours and i’m going with her. still, first day of school…summer’s gone, summer’s gone.

both kids are home with me today, this hasn’t happened for quite some time. since i’ve been flitting from room to room, picking up stuff, throwing stuff out, and sorting stuff, boo has been keeping herself busy with all the toys in the living room. the buns has been happily kicking on the floor rolling from his back to his tummy and shoving his fist in his mouth.

as boo has gotten bored throughout the day, she’s taken more and more toys out. she did really well the first hour when i wasn’t overwhelmed by everything and when i told her to pick up her current toy and put it away before taking out a new one, she was a little angel and for once did what she was told. then something happened, and i must have spent too much time in the kitchen putting things away and paying bills because when i cam back to the living room it was clear that the toy bomb had gone off and i was not at my post.

i figured i’d clean up while he was asleep and she was eating lunch. that didn’t happen. then i figured that i’d clean up after i got her down for a nap. that didn’t happen either. and i’m sorry to say that it’s still a mess.

the dog however has been a champ. all day he’s been getting squeezed out of the living room bit by bit. the more toys come out, the more he retreats to unfamiliar space to lie down. he was over by the door a minute ago giving me woeful glances and sighing a lot. then i spilled the cheerios snack mix and his slow and steady eviction has been worth it. with the speed and agility of a much younger dog, he traversed his way through the toy wasteland to be rewarded with yummy floor cheerios and pretzel sticks. which proves the old saying - put up with someone’s shit long enough, and you will be rewarded.

now, happy as a clam, he’s given up on the living room altogether and is asleep in the hallway. good dog.

yesterday i was awake and doing stuff from 5AM to midnight. seriously. i know this is probably a normal day for some college students, but it kicked my ass.

it wouldn’t have been so bad if i hadn’t agreed to pick up my Dad and annie oakley from the airport at 10PM. that was a mistake.

thankfully, it’s just me and the buns today and he likes sleeping on me so it’s a good time to just sit still and let him do that.

so buns woke up chipper as a lark around 4AM. sweet mama here thankfully got him back to sleep, only for him to wake up again twice as happy as before at 4:45. hubbin took the kids to see his mom this morning so i could sleep in. so i slept until noon, and now my day is all fucked up. i got up and showered and had a bowl of Total. then hubbin came home and wanted to “get at least something done today.”

so we fed the buns and went to target with a big of stuff to return and exchange from boo’s b-day bash. one of my most productive target experiences ever! and the cute little gay-boy check out kid was so adorable i want to invite him home for dinner.

now i feel like it’s nap-time and hubbin wants to light up the hibachi and throw some salmon steaks on. just doesn’t feel right today, like i’m missing three hours of my day and it’s going to reappear around 2AM.

i am patiently waiting downstairs, strategically placed for the mail to come. it’s a bonus that he’s tall, blonde and in great shape. but i’m really waiting for all of boo’s new school stuff. i’m such a nerd, but i loves to fill out the forms. i’m the perfect administrator in that respect.

HE’S HERE!!!