mydarlingcurse.com

Little Pink Pill

Post on March 1st, 2010 by Jodie

I tweaked my shoulder, neck and back over the weekend. I don’t know how. And after self-medicating (my favorite hobby) with some Chardonnay, my dad gave me two little pink pills called darvocet. I think.

I cannot really take pain medication without getting horribly nauseated. So as much as I’d like to be a pill popper - the lining of my stomach does not allow it. However I did have one anti-nausea pill left in the back of the cabinet. So last night, when I couldn’t stand the pain anymore and after I had iced my back, shoulder and neck, I broke down and took the pills.

They both worked great, and after seeing the chiropractor this morning I’m on the mend. However I had a really vivid dream.

I was in Boston at an old theatre/playhouse. I was carrying around this beat-up paperback novel with me with a green and white cover and real flowery art. I think I had written the book. But I kept opening it and flipping pages trying to remember something or looking for a clue. Then it dawned on me, I was looking for Jason Bateman because I knew he liked old-timey typewriters and the theatre had an “historical display of Early American typewriters”. So I was hoping to run into him and tell him I’m sorry I left. That I still loved him and then I was overcome with weepiness and sorrow at the thought that he might not want me back.

THEN the play started. It was Macbeth - staring (get this) Jeremy Irons and Cher. I got so caught up in the unnaturalness of the thing that I stopped looking for Jason Bateman and became utterly engrossed in watching what turned out to be a really good show.

Category medication needed, dorkdom, dreams | No Comments »

Dream Post - read at your own risk.

Post on February 22nd, 2010 by Jodie

I am a person who believes that dreams means something. I have always been a very vivid dreamer. It’s scary sometimes. I scare myself. I also have the ability to remember several dreams, not just one.

Last night I had a dream of the Chicago Cowboy. For those who aren’t familiar with the Chicago Cowboy he’s my big college ex that I’ve tried in all sorts of ways to stay in touch with and remain friends with. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. But a few months ago we broke up. For real. Over e-mail. And unless I reach out to try and mend things, I’ll never from him again. He’s one of those types that doesn’t make an effort ever. He’ll always take your call, but he’ll never call you. He’ll always write back, but never write first. Sometimes this is okay with me, but right now, it’s not.

A part of me will also wonder about the well-being of the Cowboy. I love him. I’ll always want him to be okay. But I can’t make him okay. I can’t make him anything, I don’t want to.

The dream was brief and realistic. We were face to face saying goodbye. I was leaving somewhere, somewhere far. And he simply reached out and touched my face. Usually this kind of tenderness from him would cause me to try and get into contact with him. I would feel like he needed me. But maybe that was all a bunch of crap and self-projection. Him not needing me, me needing him. And today I release all of that. Today, maybe it doesn’t mean anything.

And I get the irony that while it might not mean anything I’m posting about it, so it must mean something. Maybe. But I already feel better getting it out there and not feel the need to mention him again. So welcome to the list of other losers that I will not give any more time, energy, or thought about.

Names Never Again Mentioned Here:
~~Sarah Palin~~
~~Octomom~~
~~Chicago Cowboy~~

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Pour some sugar on me….oh wait….

Post on September 11th, 2009 by Jodie

I had this hilarious dream last night! I was making out with Bret Michaels, in his bed, and he was totally shy. I mean, COME ON! So while I’m waiting for things to get hot and heavy, since we all know he’s a skank but still totally hot, I keep finding all this candy in and around his bed. I asked, are you feeling okay? You all know he’s diabetic right? And he says, yeah, no, not really. So I start shoving candy down his pie hole so we can get back to making out. But all that bitch wants to do is cuddle and have me stroke his hair.

Isn’t that shit supposed to happen AFTER???

And thus begins my Rock of Love with Bret Michales withdrawl.

Category the love i have for you, dreams | Comments Off

Addition to the DML

Post on May 30th, 2009 by Jodie

The Dream Make-out list - aka the DML. These are people who show up in my dreams and we make-out, NOT people I dream about making-out with. There is a huge difference. The DML is beyond my control, it’s my mind working things out for whatever reason. The great thing about the DML is that it’s always different. The people who I’d just like to make out with, that doesn’t change all that much - Adrien Brody with a bullet.

So far for 2009 the DML is:
Adrien Brody
The Ex English

And welcome Mopey Joe. I can’t remember many details but we were waiting for a table at a restaurant and you were wearing a shirt and jacket. It was brief, but nice. But yeah….WTF??!?

Category dorkdom, DML, lists, dreams | No Comments »

Playing Catch-Up

Post on February 24th, 2009 by Jodie

A few things I need to get down and I’ll elaborate on them later:

- Hilarious EMT guy
- Gall Bladder removal
- Additions to the DML - Hello Mr. Brody (2009) and the Ex-English Teacher
- Drug induced dreams involving cocktails with my Mom and the Perkins Pie Display.
- The Zolfran Nazi

Category medication needed, DML, lists, dreams | No Comments »

These are the days I dread.

Post on February 10th, 2009 by Jodie

When you live your life on the edge of utter surrender to banality it seems like any little thing can push you over the edge. Last night after I made dinner I made a comment to Hubbin about one of the school marms inviting me and Boo over to play during their upcoming break. Then I gathered up the dishes, brought them over to the sink and let the dog out. And then my day was over. Those actions symbolized the end of my daily duties as Mom and housewife. I felt it, like a shrill shift whistle going off in my head. I made some sound of disgust when I realized what had just happened. This noise did not go unnoticed by Hubbin and when he questioned me about it I simply widened my eyes, sugar coated my sarcasm and asked “How was dinner? Is there anything else I can get you? Golly I’m looking forward to Boo having a playdate! Oh, and here is the grocery list! I wish we lived in Stepford.”

Thankfully Hubbin got the point and we went out to Circut City and bought a bunch of DVD’s on sale. Hello Alien Quadrilogy!

The Buns had a shit night last night. Up every two to three hours with that whiny fussy voice that shreds a parents last nerve. Hubbin and I took shifts. And now my day is fucked. I had plans this morning that I’m going to have to cancel because for some damn reason my son has been literally bouncing off the walls since 4:45AM. I hate days like this. Days when I try to get a little life in for myself, something that I really want to do and now I have to sacrifice what I want for what my child needs. It’s the classic paradox (and that probably isn’t the right word here) of parenting. He’s going to be tired and fussy all day and his schedule is going to be way off and that’s going to make me tired and impatient.

On the plus side, it’s raining and the soft patter on rain on the roof and walls calms me. I’m also now remembering that I had a Mr. O dream last night. Nothing R-rated, just a broad chest, smells of dry cleaning, paper and after shave, warmth and strong arms around me, comforting. And there was something on his shirt cuff but it’s gone now.

And I’ve put some reasoning into my unhealthy Mr. O obsession. To me, he’s larger than life with his tall frame and broad shoulders. He’s got a somewhat arrogant attitude, but nine times out of ten he’s got the smarts to back it up. And if I were that smart I’d be a little cocky too. He’s funny, and that’s number one on my list. He’ll watch football and baseball and probably the Tour de France with me, and a little hockey. And I’ve figured out that I need something larger than myself to bounce off of. I guess right now that’s lacking for me. Probably always has been and that’s why I have an obvious type. Maybe that’s why I feel like I’m shrinking. There is nothing out there larger than myself to grab on to.

Category medication needed, momdom, dreams, Keith Olbermann | No Comments »

Dream Karma

Post on January 25th, 2009 by Jodie

So after the horrible awful dream of a few days ago I was rewarded with a wonderful sexy dream starring Keith Olbermann. I won’t go into details, but lets just say that a dozen white tulips guarantees I’ll put out. And after Mr. O’s spot about the NSA I’m not going to say anymore.

Category dreams, Keith Olbermann | No Comments »

The Dream and Thoughts on Death

Post on January 23rd, 2009 by Jodie

Last night I had a horrible dream. I woke up crying. I dreamt that my Daughter had the same crippling disease as my Mother. Her little body was rigid with atrophy and my heart broke into a million sobbing screaming pieces. I’m choked up just typing it. I couldn’t believe how much effort it took to refocus my mind. I’m still not completely successful with that either. In typical parental fashion I feel I would suffer from Soul Death if anything happened to her (to either of them, but the dream was about her). I’d be forced to live my life with a vacancy so huge I’d simply be reduced to a walking corpse. Happiness and hope would cease to exist and like a phantom I’d just pass through everything,

Such morbid thoughts. Where is this coming from? My neighbor. My poor sweet neighbor whose brother committed suicide last week. I think it’s really normal that after one experiences such a traumatic event that we become isolated. I lost my brother two years ago. I don’t really know anyone else who has lost a sibling. And it wasn’t so much that I lost my brother as I lost my brother 89 days after losing my Mom. And how selfish is it that when someone else experiences a death in the family all I want to do is talk about my experiences and my family? I guess that’s part of the process. There are some things about my loss that only come up when it happens to someone else. In a way, seeing from the outside, i.e. happening to someone else, it makes it easier on me. Not that I take pleasure in seeing other people go through something horrible. But it helps to have that connection, that realization that I’m not the only one who can’t make sense of it, I’m not the only one who doesn’t think they’ll ever be truly happy again, there are others suffering as much as I am - see look!

The funny thing is is that I’m not very close to my neighbor. They’ve lived next door for nine or ten years and we look out for each other in that neighborly way, I just don’t know if we are friends though. I’d like to be, no doubt. Maybe this is the start. I just hope I have enough sense and tact to keep my own stuff in check and help her if I can. I just can’t seem to find away to keep pressure on the wound, junk keeps oozing out.

Category medication needed, dreams | No Comments »

the fabulous Mr. O dream

Post on September 6th, 2008 by Jodie

we were in a really big house and some of my extended family was there…The Fabulous Mr. O (TFMO) was wearing light khaki pants, and white shirt and a light colored jacket (hummana hummana hummana). for whatever reason, Keith was running the show, we were all very concerned with when he was leaving, when he’d be back and what it all meant. i remember the sense that his job was in danger because some flashy young buck with earphones showed up and everyone went into hyper-protective mode about Keith.

there wasn’t a lot of talking.

i remember being around a table, and Keith wasn’t sitting down, he was standing behind my aunt iowa. and he gave me a look that makes me gooey inside still. the kind of look that says, even though you’ll never be mine, you’ll always be mine. and i held his stare for as long as i could, but the devil with the earphones was distracting me.

then i remember sitting on TFMO’s lap at one point and he was talking very softly, yet very sternly to me. telling me that if i wanted to be something else that i could. that america would love me for who i am, i just needed to be myself. then he pulled out video camera and started filming me talking. then he stopped and told me to do it for real, and i did.

TFMO has yet to make the DML, and i think that as soon as i stop watching five hours of MSNBC coverage in a row, right before bed, i’ll stop having dreams about him. but i don’t want that to happen. he’s like a sexy father-figure, always pushing me beyond what i think i can do. and i so need that right now.

after boo’s back to school picnic, i’m feeling very dowdy and invisible. i’m positive that i am meant to do more than this, but i’m not sure what that is yet. thankfully, i just saw a bit on TCM about Jimmy Stewart. there is a scene in “Harvey” that they showed that was like a slap in the face to me:

“Years ago my mother used to say to me, she’d say, “In this world, Elwood, you must be” - she always called me Elwood - “In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.” Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me.”

i shall work on being more pleasant, you may quote me.

Category the love i have for you, movies, dreams, Keith Olbermann | No Comments »

mydarlingcurse.com

Archive for the ‘dreams’

Little Pink Pill

Dream Post - read at your own risk.

Pour some sugar on me….oh wait….

Addition to the DML

Playing Catch-Up

These are the days I dread.

Dream Karma

The Dream and Thoughts on Death

the fabulous Mr. O dream

Greetings My Darlings

Tweety Pie

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