mydarlingcurse.com

I forgot how much work the last week of school is. Boo is tired and cranky and having much too much fun to ever want to leave or sleep or even eat. We’re all overly tired. I feel like I have so much to do; take care of kids, clean - clean clean clean ALWAYS clean, get ready for the garage sale, sort and organize, blah blah blah. And I think that I have no energy to do these things, but somewhere I do. My lying down and staring didn’t go so well. I can’t turn off my brain. While I went to lay down to bed last night before 9PM I didn’t fall asleep until after 11. Seriously, I laid there in the dark with my eyes closed forcing thoughts from my brain and couldn’t relax. That’s bullshit.

In other news, the Alaskan Poet is leaving. Back to Alaska. I am incredibly saddened at this news. The Poet is the only friend that I talk to face to face. We try to get together once a week, or once every two weeks for breakfast. We go to the same place and know all the staff and I am going to miss that so much. Maybe we aren’t close friends, but we are good friends and I fear that I’ll fall deeper into reclusiveness without him. I just put my finger on what it is. He makes an effort. That’s rare in this world. He remembers things I told him a week or two ago and he asks me about it. He doesn’t shy away from the kids. I really appreciate that. But maybe I should be telling him all this, eh?

There is more going on too, but it’s private and I’m not going to talk about it here, yet, if ever.

It’s weird, when the site was down all I wanted to do was get it back up and now that it’s up I don’t really care. Blogging and twitter and Facebook, it doesn’t seem that important or meaningful. It’s not fulfilling, but what is? I mean, writing and reading and kids and volunteering, being a wife, being a mother, if all those things together are fulfilling, what possible chance do I have of surviving?

Where’s that depression quiz…?