trying to tune into my addled brain
i guess it’s very zen to have nothing going on in your head. but i thinking clearing ones mind is different from just hitting the mute button. i’m not even thinking in fragments anymore, it’s like i’m no longer capable of coherent thought. it’s just a random list of things that are constantly going wrong. none of which i seem able to fix - not that i have the energy or motivation to try.
boo’s recent injury still weighs on me. hubbin and i talked a little bit about it last night, but i don’t think things went very well. i don’t feel any better and usually when we have a chance to talk it out, we both walk away feeling great. maybe there is more to talk about.
i just feel like i want to press pause. but only for myself. i want everything else to keep going. i need a replacement bot. seems that i’m just going through the motions anyway, why not just get a FemBot in to do what i normally do or don’t do? then i could go off and work on myself and come back at this with a different perspective.
i think the reason for all of this is that my Mom’s birthday is coming up this weekend. she would have been 65 this year.