mydarlingcurse.com

dear stephanie meyer,

you almost had me. i tore through “Twilight”. “New Moon” and “Eclipse” in a matter of days. although i didn’t buy the hype around the last book, since i only discovered you a few weeks ago. after “Eclipse” i couldn’t wait to continue on the journey with bella and edward and now that i have cracked the first hundred pages of “Breaking Dawn” i gotta tell ya, it stinks.

there are rules in vampire novels, rules ms. meyer! sure i get that your success has allowed you the idea that you can break those rules, but seriously? a vampire baby? come on nah! didn’t you see Van Helsing? and that was far-fetch for a far-fetched idea anyway!

you have built such a wonderful, tragic romance with bella and edward. it took you three books to get them to the alter and when you did, naturally you had the rejected boyfriend show up and cause some tension, it was great. but to then just whisk them off to an island and completely gloss over losing your virginity to a vampire?! well that’s a damn shame.

ms meyer, let me tell you something about the 12-13-14 year old girls that are reading your books, they are panting for their heroine to fall - they want to know what it’s like to be flawed and desirable - and they want details. to get our favorite couple FINALLY to the point of sex and then pan left to show billowing curtains in the island breeze is a cop-out! a hugely disappointing cop-out! your core audience of teen girls and their moms want to read about sex with a vampire, since it’s the closest we’ll ever get. and don’t give me any bullshit about your squeaky clean image and keeping bella pure ms. meyer. your core audience has been waiting for three goddamn books for the good stuff and you literally give us feathers. AND don’t give any other bullshit about not writing sex for teens. cuz i will cram “Forever” by Judy Blume down your throat so fast you’ll be shitting out pages 23-66 tomorrow.

i hope and pray something wonderfully bloody and tragic happens now, cuz if i just want to see a 19 year old girl marry the wrong guy i’ll just hitch myself a ride down to Georgia.

you better redeem yourself by the end of this tome or i’ll sick the bitches on ya. and we are a might to be reckoned with, ms. meyer. just ask that vampire hack mary janice davidson.

yours truly,
jodie