Maillot jaune
i love the tour de france today. hubbin has always been a huge fan.
the time trials are today, and it’s like the best day in the tour since anything can happen. the leaders need to kick it into high gear because seriously, some guy listed tenth could come out of the gate and bury them all.
hubbin got up with buns, so i got an extra hour (almost) of sleep, then he took both kids down to the basement where boo can play and buns can sleep and he can watch the Tour on the big screen TV. i hear hubbin explaining the concept of a time trial to boo. tough thing to do since she has no concept of time. i tell him to start small, start with the jersey.
it’s nice being up here with my laptop, tea and crosswords. but i still feel full of tears.
i’m chalking all this up to the fact that i weened buns last week and am getting through the engorgement and subsequent hormonal changes (no more night sweats! huzzah!) but i’m concerned that it’s more than that. i have no problem getting back on an anti-depressant, but i don’t want to go to the doctor to get more. why? because i have to change doctors and that’s a pain.
i used to be really good at just turning the bad stuff off until i could deal with it. now it seems like it’s all i deal with, so there is no stopper. i keep telling myself that it’s temporary, that huubin will come around, the kids will get older and bigger and stronger, it’s not going to be like this tomorrow. i keep telling myself that, but when will i start believing it?