12 years gone
i actually met up with the sexy ex-english teacher over the weekend. usually when he’s in town, there are attempts made of wanting to get together, but then it flops. i’m so glad it worked out this time.
we met up at Al’s Bar. Al’s has been the scene of many crimes of my heart, but his was by far the worst. twelve years ago, about six weeks before i got married, he and i met up at Al’s. we drank ourselves stupid and ended up making out at his place. doesn’t sound too precocious, but i’d been in love with him for about ten years before our lips even touched. and if he’d asked me, i’d have seriously thought about postponing my wedding. yeah.
but my resolve was strong, since the last time we got together, it was no big deal. anyway, we had a beer and talked, and it was a blast. and again i’m flooded with feelings of isolation and desperation.
since buns, i haven’t been out of the house much, socially. haven’t talked to other adults about things NOT my children, so at times, i felt like i was being awkward and childish talking with someone so good looking and intelligent.
and sadly, while the zsa zsa zsu is gone with the sexy ex-english teacher, i felt like maybe we could be really good friends. i’m just afraid that if i want that and hope for it, i’ll be crushed by him yet again.
he’s in town for another few weeks, and i really want to see him again, to see if what i’m thinking and feeling is true. i mean, is it even possible to be friends with someone like that? is he even interested in hanging out with me? could we go to a twins game? is that even out there?
here i am again, fretting like a silly sixteen year old. why am i constantly sixteen around this guy?
