mydarlingcurse.com

so i could spew some tale about when i was in Ireland. but i don’t really want to.

i could update you with baby news, but i don’t really want to.

all i want to do is play MasterMind on facebook.

sad and pathetic, but true.

went to the doctor yesterday and am progressing along nicely. we scheduled a day for induction. no, i’m not telling when. but it’s before the end of the month. it’s nice to have an idea of when we will go in though. we have to make arrangements for boo and the dog - so it’s really a relief to be able to plan.

also, we went to look at cars yesterday. hubbin’s car isn’t going to last much longer as a “family” car. so we are looking at mini-vans. I KNOW - gross right? here is the thing though. every mom that i’ve talked to about it is like - yeah, it was hard admitting that you needed a mini-van. but then after they got one, they swore it was the best kind of car for kids. they LOVED it! and when i took one for a test drive, it wasn’t that bad. it was actually comfortable. hard to be comfortable in any car when you are over 37 weeks pregnant.

here is another thing….after watching last night’s episode of Lost, i am really disappointed in TV’s continued sham of how they portray women giving birth. first of all, you CAN’T sit straight up with your knees bent and just push. it doesn’t work that way. giving birth is done using your back, not your stomach and abs. and you can’t just push and push and push and scream and scream and scream. you can only push during a contraction and it takes so much out of you that you don’t have time to scream or complain. you just push. then when the baby comes out, it isn’t 3 months old like the babies on TV are. newborn kids aren’t that big or well formed. they are completely alien. they got the slimy part down though - that’s true. and how calm the kids are. that’s true too. newborns cry for a second, and then they have a long period of quiet alertness. it’s amazing.

and i’m not explaining all of this for only your benefit. i’m completely freaked out that there is an end in sight. so a lot of this is just me calming myself down.

i’ve heard once or twice that pregnant women have a higher sex drive. if this is true, i’m a late bloomer.

while hanging out on my couch yesterday with JCSG, we determined that I am now 37 weeks pregnant. the home stretch hopefully. i am so ready to have this baby! it just seems that time is dragging on and i feel like i’ll be pregnant forever!

anyhoot, the last couple of nights i’ve had really nice, sexy dreams. but i feel like i’m getting the short end of the stick. if pregnant women do have a higher sex drive - why is mine only kicking in with less that 2 weeks to go? doesn’t seem right.

in the dream last night i wasn’t pregnant - more importantly i felt skinny. this was a treat, since rarely do women feel skinny. they might look skinny, and they might be skinny, but they don’t feel skinny - even the skinny ones. i was wearing a red dress and ran into a handsome man that i’ve had a crush on for years. he was so smitten with me, he grabbed me a little too fast and kissed me a little too hard.

like i said it was nice.

i would just like to take a moment here and raise a huge middle finger to daylight savings time.

yeah yeah, we’ve come out of the cocoon of darkness and winter is almost over. clearly i’m still suffering from SAD.

but anyone with kids under the age of four is ready to pull their hair out.

it happened to early this year, and now we’re all fucked. kids are taking naps later but wanting dinner earlier. they melt down at bedtime because for some it’s still light out.

what a joke.

so piss off daylight savings time. yeah it’s still light out at seven o clock but my kid is working my last ever-loving nerve and it’s ALL YOUR FAULT!

boo has a cold.
a very bad cold.

you know it’s bad when your monkey two year old iwhen she stops dead in her tracks, grabs a pillow and a blankey and lays down.

i came up to use the bathroom and she climbed into our bed and covered herself up. didn’t say a word, but with her little red rimmed, watery eyes, drippy nose and thumb in mouth, she didn’t have too.

she’s perked up a bit now after a rest, but on days like this i feel really ineffectual as a parent. because honestly, what can you do with a two year who has a cold. not much. juice and kleenex and vapo rub. but she doesn’t want to eat and is very affectionate, which means she’s constantly on me. which means i’m constantly in pain.

bunny has his little but right up against the right tendon that is holding my uterus up and it’s painful. but the time we have, just her and i, is quickly coming to and end and i don’t want to deny her or i a moment of it, not one second. but i’m so physically limited.

hey bunny - come out come out wherever you are!

look to your right and you’ll notice a link to “Garfield Minus Garfield” - a hi-LARIOUS look at the famous comic strip sans it’s lead character and namesake.

i’ve had the link up for at least a week. and it took EW a week LATER to name it as #5 on their Must List.

ggod thing for JCSG that there is no five.

officially, i am done being pregnant. i could have this baby at anytime as far as i’m concerned. seriously, i’m done. i want my body back, i want my motions back. i want to be able to roll over without pain or grunting. i want to see my feet. and not have my back hurt.

most importantly, hubbin and i want to meet our baby.

so on certain days when boo is at daycare, i hole up in the basement, watch TiVo and do laundry. today has been one of those days. and in a moment of utter emotional weakness i re-watched last weeks episode of Lost.

i’m not going to justify why i like this show so much, expect to say that in almost every frame there is a man that totally utterly works my shit. there’s hot guys, and exotic guys, and cute guys and mysterious guys and the scottish fellow. so i mean, that’s a lot of eye candy.

and now i have a headache. i cried so hard at the end of last weeks episode that i actually have a headache. the scottish bloke got in touch with his GF after eight years of not calling her and she’s been looking for him for three years and it was all……

“I’ll find you”
“I’ll make my way back to you.”
“I won’t give up.”
“I promise”
“I promise”
“I Love you!” at the same time

and i’m crying so hard the drops are falling off my cheeks onto my shirt. because with all the crazy Lost storylines…the scottish bloke gets her phone number in 1996 and says he’s not going to call until 2004, so she can’t change her number and she has to answer. AND SHE DOES! in eight years she doesn’t change her number because she believes he’ll call, cuz she loves him even though they aren’t together. and it was so touching and sad. well, if you start calling me blubber butt, i’ll understand.

i don’t want to bore you with details, but that last couple of days have been rough. i’ve been struggling with comfort, as most 36 week pregnant women do. but i’ve also been struggling with matters at home too. stuff with hubbin and family.

my dad and annie oakely left for Arizona yesterday and i’m wildly jealous. i’d love to head down there, warm up and dry out. but then last night i had major pregnancy pains and i panicked. with them gone, i have no one, NO ONE to call and help out.
if something had happened last night, we’d of had to pack boo up and take her with. and god forbid if i had gone into labor, hubbin would have had to take care of her rather than me. now, i wouldn’t have it any other way, but you can see why this isn’t the most desirable of situations.

hubbin’s family is really tied up with baby A. and i get that. baby A is home now and doing great, but needs constant care. constant. and they are an hour away. the lovely SIL and her boy are on a cruise, so we can’t call them. and CK and his wife, well, yeah, but boo doesn’t really know them and i’d hate to impose on such short notice for who knows how long. they both work too, so if days off were needed….it would just be a lot for them to deal with.

so i panicked and that made it all worse. but i didn’t go into labor. and i KNEW i wouldn’t but it was just that moment of “oh shit, this is going to happen eventually.” and we are sooo not prepared. sooooo not prepared.