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Archive for October, 2007


the queen of halloween, while not at her post, offers a meager something….

The Raven
by Edgar Allan Poe

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
” ‘Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door;
Only this, and nothing more.”

Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow, sorrow for the lost Lenore,.
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore,
Nameless here forevermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
” ‘Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door,
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door.
This it is, and nothing more.”

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
“Sir,” said I, “or madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is, I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you.” Here I opened wide the door;—
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word,
Lenore?, This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word,
“Lenore!” Merely this, and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping, something louder than before,
“Surely,” said I, “surely, that is something at my window lattice.
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore.
Let my heart be still a moment, and this mystery explore.
” ‘Tis the wind, and nothing more.”

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven, of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door.
Perched upon a bust of Pallas, just above my chamber door,
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
“Though thy crest be shorn and shaven thou,” I said, “art sure no craven,
Ghastly, grim, and ancient raven, wandering from the nightly shore.
Tell me what the lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore.”
Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning, little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door,
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as “Nevermore.”

But the raven, sitting lonely on that placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered; not a feather then he fluttered;
Till I scarcely more than muttered, “Other friends have flown before;
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.”
Then the bird said, “Nevermore.”

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
“Doubtless,” said I, “what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master, whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster, till his songs one burden bore,—
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of “Never—nevermore.”

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore –
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking “Nevermore.”

Thus I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl, whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom’s core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion’s velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o’er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o’er
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor.
“Wretch,” I cried, “thy God hath lent thee — by these angels he hath
Sent thee respite—respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, O quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!”
Quoth the raven, “Nevermore!”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil!–prophet still, if bird or devil!
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate, yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted–
On this home by horror haunted–tell me truly, I implore:
Is there–is there balm in Gilead?–tell me–tell me I implore!”
Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil–prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that heaven that bends above us–by that God we both adore–
Tell this soul with sorrow laden, if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden, whom the angels name Lenore—
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels name Lenore?
Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

“Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I shrieked, upstarting–
“Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! — quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!”
Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming.
And the lamplight o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted—nevermore!

slowly but surely

since i’m not sure how to put photo’s on the blog yet, you’ll have to go here and see some of my pictures from ireland.

catastrophe pending

not only do i come back from ireland to a house of pestilence, boo with watery eyes and a runny nose and hubbin with a cough, but the drama - oh the drama!

Crazy SIL is in the hospital on bed rest. she is between 23 and 24 weeks and her water broke. and at some point, most likely very prematurely, her baby will be born. i hope that all the miricles surrounding situations like this are not reserved only for reality TV. but my god, i can’t begin to imagine.

on the plus side, i had my 18 week appointment and all is well. i can’t help thinking though that it will be difficult to seperate my experience from hers, especially if, god forbid, the worst happens.

day by day i guess.

top o’ the mornin’ to ye!

back from the land or eire. boo and hubbin survived a week without me and i survived without them. the later is much more shocking, let me assure you.

i am busy doing all the things weary travelers do when they get home. but i am working on picture and what not, so they are coming. promise.

gee, your hair looks terrific!

so AGAIN the optical drive goes out on my laptop and AGAIN i have to bring it into the apple store to get replaced and repaired. only this time, when i went to the mall, i got hair extensions too. I KNOW! i’m a crazy bitch. but i wanted to do something drastically different with myself and there you have it. they are long and sleek and fantastic. i feel like cher.

i’m frantically getting reading for my trip to Ireland. i’m not sure if i’m bringing jack the laptop yet, but i want to. plus all this business about cothes, guh! i hate it. i don’t fit into my normal clothes, except sweats, and the maternity stuff i bought is a bit to big. here’s hoping a good wash in hot water will do the trick.

so my body is awkward, but my hair divine.

are drum solos ever a good idea?

well, for the first time in my life, i am disappointed in the fact that i went to a Black Crowes show last night. front man chris robinson was in fine form doing his funky best to make my toes curl. but the rest of the band fell flat. they started in around 8:30PM and i thought, excellent, they’ll play til at least 11:00. WRONG. they played for an hour and fifteen then did a one song encore. gak!
i wouldn’t mind if i had paid like….um….i dunno, $17 for the show, but it was $42.50 plus another $35 dollars for all the Ticketbastard bullshit.

we were home before 11!!!!!

worst black crowes show EVER!

i could cry.

a bookish meme

1. Hardcover or paperback, and why? paperback, because i usually read in bed and resting a book on your boobs when you are pregnant - not so much.

2. If I were to own a book shop I would call it….The Bookhouse (after the Bookhouse Boys on Twin Peaks) or Dramatis Personae, and sell lots of plays.

3. My favorite quote from a book (mention the title) is…From Snakes and Earrings, by Hitomi Kanehara: “I often like to think that if sunlight reached into everywhere on the entire planet, I’d find a way to turn myself into a shadow.”

4. The author (alive or diseased) I would love to have lunch with would be …David Sedaris - I mean COME ON, a gay guy, at lunch?!?

5. If I was going to a deserted island and could only bring one book, except from the SAS survival guide, it would be… Lolita.

6. I would love someone to invent a bookish gadget that…I’m stealing Kate’s answer here…a book holder that would allow me to read on my side and turn the page when i blink.

7. The smell of an old book reminds me of…paper.

8. If I could be the lead character in a book (mention the title), it would be….The Vampire Lestat

9. The most overestimated book of all time is…The fucking DaVinci Code

10. I hate it when a book…is written by MaryJanice Davidson.

when the gun goes off….

saw The Seagull last night at The Guthrie, again with Sir Ian McKellen. and i was delighted to see that the Royal Shakespeare Company played up the humor as much as they did, because parts of it were hysterical. it made me think how wonderful and easy theatre is, and how hard i find everything else. well, everything that is except sleep.

there was a scene last night that left me breathless, astounded, and with goosebumps that lasted a good five minutes. if you aren’t familiar with The Seagull, that’s ok. all you need to know is that one of the main characters, a boy, loves the girl next door, she in turn loves the boy’s mother’s boyfriend, the boy finds out and is heartbroken. in true chekhovian fashion, naturally he tries to kill himself because of this. one of the other characters sees him in the act and tries to stop him, saving his life, but also dooming him to the pathetic existance of someone who tried to kill themself and failed. the gun goes off….and the lights don’t go off (as they usually do in theatre). the gun goes off and complete chaos ensues. every character filters on to the stage in reaction to the attempted suicide. every character has a job and a reaction, there was so much going on at once, it was simply amazing.

i’ve been in big productions before and when you have twenty or so people on stage it’s hard to play chaos and trauma without having it look completely choreographed. and last night, it was done to perfection. it seemed as though from the wings, there was an decision by the cast like, “OK, when Kostya pulls the trigger, we all run out, we all do something, ready, BANG! go!” it looked that spontanious and that’s what good acting and a tight company can pull off, night after night.

i miss it, terribly.

the workshop aftershock

believe me, i will gush and blush and slush later. but just know that the Vodo class workshop went well. in fact, it rocked my socks off - because for once, since this past april, i actually had socks on last night.

Wednesday night

saw King Lear last night at The Guthrie staring Sir Ian McKellen. and it was phenomenal! watch a bit of it here.

there were a few moments in the play that made my eyes water and my vision go blurry. sitting next to my own dad didn’t help. like when Lear asks his daughter Cordelia for forgiveness when he was only being his old, stubborn self, well, that is somthing daughters truly understand. no forgiveness can be given, no offense made. dads are dads and we know that, i do, and so does Cordelia. so when she hugs him and he breaks down….well, it’s one of those moments when art and life collide and you succumb to it. my dad has never asked for my forgiveness, nor has he turned me out of the kingdom. but if he did, well, i’d just hug him knowing he’s an old, stubborn fool, and that’s just who he is, no more, no less.

watching Sir Ian’s Lear circle the drain of madness was breathtaking, and the supporting company, the women who played his daughters, were extraordinary. if ever the Royal Shakespeare Company of London does a production and you are within 100 miles of it, GO! you will not be disappointed. call me and i’ll send you money.

so put away your green monster, oh, but not too soon. in a scene of madness and comedy, Lear drops his drawers and then gets his head stuck while taking off his shirt. and while he’s struggling like a kid to get the damn thing off, the scene continues around him. finally, his fool helps him out and gets the shirt back on him and pulls his pants up. what amazed me is that McKellen did the scene comando - no skivvies to speak of. i am always up for full frontal nudity, like DanRad here in Equus. and while a hot 17 year old’s uncircumsized penis is better than a gay 67 year old’s uncircumsized penis, soft junk is still soft junk. i’m glad we weren’t in the front row.