mydarlingcurse.com

might have something to do with early pregnany, but obviously there is not enough sleep in the world for me, not nearly enough.

after hubbin came home from his week in Little Rock, we went to his brother’s, CK, b-day party/picnic. which was hard because i am a little fed up with some members of his family. and it was a nice party, although the main course was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches - yeah, don’t ask.

and while we were all enjoying a quiet sunday morning, my wacky neighbour comes over for like two hours with her little boy - and they won’t leave. then in a weird twist of events my SIL slootie calls and is concerned about the kids. KK and Bubba went up to the cabin with my dad and annie oakley for six days. they were calling slootie everyday and crying and saying that they wanted to come home - when was i planning to go up to the cabin and save them?

i had just decided that morning that i wasn’t going to go, i was exhausted and had lots of stuff planned for early in the week, plus hubbin had only been in town a little over 24 hours and i didn’t want to take boo away so soon. now, i know slootie didn’t call to get me to go up there, she was just concerned, but i knew it was going to happen. my dad has no concept of how to deal with people on their level, he bends them to his will, and that doesn’t work well with tweens he hasn’t seen all summer. plus it was annie oakley up there, not my mom.

i don’t need to go into how much i miss my mom, i’ll just say it’s heartbreaking and just the thought sometimes makes me cry for hours at a time. and i think the kids miss her too.

my dad and annie oakley have become very affectionate over the last few weeks, uncomfortably so. and i was a little surprised at how selfish they are with each other, especially with the kids and me around. so it was hard.

but i packed up my shit and boo and drove up there and did what i could. however, it was just me taking care of the boo, so there was not a lot of sleep involved with that. and when i come back home, everything that i had scheduled for monday and tuesday got pushed to wednesday, then hubbin and i have it out and i can’t take it anymore.

to make matters worse, i am co-hosting a couples shower this weekend for psycho jen and her hubba. so i need to shop and do a bunch of cooking prep today.

and i think that technically i’m about 6 weeks along and am hitting the wall, there are times when i can’t keep my eyes open and i can’t explain it to anyone so they understand and there is no one to help. and i can’t do it on my own, but feel forced to. i don’t want to start cutting people off, but i think i am going to have to start. it’s the only way i am going to survive.