mydarlingcurse.com

it’s impossible, literally impossible for me to have a family function without drama. thankfully, surprisingly, this time my family wasn’t involved. it was hubbin’s fam that ruined the day.

boo’s b-day party was sunday, and it really was a great party, we were outside there was a bit of a breeze, but not unbearably hot. however, as i was running my ass off (the trainers would be so proud) i came across my SIL - the one married to uncle montana, they are both sitting on the couch and she’s crying. so, as a good hostess and a good SIL, i go over there, check up on things. “is this a deal, you guys want me to leave you alone?” and she says no. and keeps crying. uncle montana bows out since he has zeno and has to keep him entertained.

so Crazy SIL and i go upstairs and she tells me what’s going on. well, she’s 8 weeks pregnant, and they had rought sex last night and now she has pain and is spotting, and she’s feeling sick, etc. ok, i say, that’s kinda normal. well, it never happened when i was preggers with zeno. well guess what sister, 2nd pregnancy, all bets are off. this seems to upset her more.

it’s not heavy she says, but it’s been going on for over 8 hours. ok, i say, should we go up and call the nurse line? will that put your mind at ease? probably, she says.

and here my darlings is where i lose all better judgement….

we call the nurse line, i tell them who i am, and give them the symptoms as if they are mine - which was the wrong thing to do, i know. but spotting in early pregnancy is a concern. i relay all the info to Crazy SIL and she starts to calm down, but THEN the nurseline is like, well, let’s get the on call OB/GYN doc to give you a call.

::gulp::

he bascially says everything that i’ve already told her - if you are going to have a miscarriage, nothing caused it and nothing will prevent it. if it’s not a miscarriage, you need to lie down, rest and get in to see your doctor. so i hang up and tell uncle montana that Crazy SIL has to go home, put her feet up and rest. and if things get worse, they need to go into urgernt care or the ER. and he’s like, yeah, ok we are outta here. and what does she do? this drama queen who has been crying all over my house for the last half hour? she says, well, we can’t just leave, we have to say good-bye. no you don’t i say, you can leave, this is way more important.

apparently not.

because after sucking away MY time for MY daughters birthday party, she’s gotten ample attention and goes back outside and stays at the party for ANOThER HOUR AND A HALF. not at home, not lying down, not resting. eating lunch and passing off zeno to grandma and eating cake and watching us open gifts.

FUCK THAT!

i am so pissed….how rude. i mean, if i were 8 weeks pregnant and spotting, i wouldn’t been going to a party and bringing my shit to someone elses house. i’d be on the phone to my doctor or finding where the nearest, open urgent care was. but no, that’s like a too normal way of dealing with it.

i can’t believe that after all that DRAMA and bullshit, she completely ignored what i said, and ignored medical advice from a doctor. i mean, that’s total attention seeking behavior. and that’s bullshit at a two year old’s birthday party. i am beside myself.

i just feel us (hubbin too) pulling father and father away from things like that. i feel like we’ve gone out of our way on several occasions to help them out, and haven’t even gotten much of a thank you. and when i take ample time away from a party i’m hosting FOR MY DAUGHTER, she should have respected that. and her attitude and actions point to the contrary.

i fully admit that i made some bad decisions during the whole thing. maybe i should have left her crying and let uncle montana deal with it, i know for a fact that i shouldn’t have given the nurseline false informatiion. and i feel like i got sucked into this massive drama and because she made no effort to help herself or take the advice i worked so hard to get for her, that her actions were nothing more than attention seeking behavior. like she’s not getting what she needs from her own family, so when she gets around her sibs and mom she hyper-dramatizes everything to get attention and care that she’s lacking somewhere else.

and that’s serious. and i can’t be a part of it anymore. i can no longer extend my time and attention to a black hole, because that’s what she is emotionally. and part of me thinks, she’s made her bed. but there is also this other side - fueled by my mother’s shinning example - that knows she needs help, professional help and shouldn’t i at least try to steer her in the right direction?