mydarlingcurse.com

so, even though summer doesn’t officially start for another month, i am sticky and sweaty and none too happy. i wish the outdoors would just make up it’s mind - if it’s going to rain, RAIN. none of this grey cloud, humid, hot breeze crap.

god, am i seriously talking about the weather on my blog? how fucking retarted is that?

i’ve been thinking a lot lately about how much my mother’s death has affected almost every part of my life. hubbin and i have to do some financial planning now and we have to start thinking about putting things in place for boo if (knock on wood) something should ever happen to us. like the big question is who will take care of her.

everyone in my family is completely out. i love slootie, but she’s a basket-case, and had legal issues. my stoner cousin and her hubba are totally out - people who smoke pot five times a day shouldn’t even be allowed to take care of their own children. hubbin’s family, the eldest, CK and his wife are nice people, but i don’t think i want boo growing up with two of the most repressed people on the planet. they say they want kids, but they don’t talk about it - hmmmm….i wonder what the sex talk will be like when boo is 13? “don’t ask me kid, i waited until my wedding night - at the age of 34 - before i had sex” GAH!

next is hubbin’s sis and her spouse. they have little zeno. they have too much on their plate now, and lord knows when they are going to get their shit together. i’d like boo to go to a home where at least the married adults live in the same state. and i’m not sure about either of their parenting abilities.

that leaves the younger brother “the boy” and his wife “the celtic knot”. both are wonderful people - and probably the smartest of the bunch (except hubbin and i of course). but at this point in time, they don’t have their own residence. they live with grandma. and the celtic knot has some things to work out on her own. she’s most excellent in the role of “auntie” and i think that’s enough for now.

which gets us into extended family, my aunt iowa or uncle arizona for example. i’d pick aunt iowa since she’s the closest living thing to my mom. she’s raised four kids of her own and loves boo to no end. uncle arizona would be a good pick too, but i’m not sure i want boo running around the compound massively unsupervised. that kind of lax parenting is great for older kids, but she’s still a toddler. and iowa is closer than arizona.

and this great debate is caused by the fact that i can’t list my parents as guardians for her. my dad cannot do it on his own, and he’s going to be 70 later this year. great for him, but that’s grandpa years, not dad years. if my mom were alive, no problem. a no brainer. but her death forces me to stretch my noodle and make this decision.

it’s good i guess to explore other options. it’s good to have the dialogue, i guess. i just wish i wasn’t having it now.