from the couch of pestilence
over the last 24 hours the left side of my nasal cavity has swollen shut, only to re-open slightly, randomly, make me choke, and then close again.
obviously i have been exposed to a newly created bio-weapon that has been designed to deprive me of oxygen, deprive me of sleep, and then lead to my insainity. hubbin has been walking around the house behind me in a haz-mat suit collecting my discarded tissues. these will be sent to quantico, as i’m sure a new neural-toxic nerve agent can be made from the vile, gummy, green gunk that comes out only when i blow my nose so hard, my ears pop.
i’m off to the minute clinic at target - obviously this is not normal. but if the new plegue is upon us, blame me. i am the mother host.